Useified Friends
by DatBeardyGuy
Summary: When Axel and Olivia decide to make their improvements to Ivor's House, they follow Jesse's gang to Ivor and a lot of portal mishaps happen. They then stumble upon Crown Mesa...


_Please note: This is an imaginary scenario if Axel & Olivia came with you in Episode 5 of Season 1. I'll leave the rest to you to imagine._

Jesse: Wow! I didn't even think there would BE a fire world!

Axel: Yeah, crazy, right! That one was like, my favourite!

Jesse: Uh oh.

Jesse notices Lukas' butt is on fire. He quickly spams the button to pat it out. He succeeds in doing so.

Lukas: Thanks.

Petra: You lot having fun?

Jesse notices very clearly that Petra is angry, her expression through the portals has weighed her down, almost giving her homesickness.

Jesse: What's up with you?

Petra gets frustrated with Jesse.

Petra: What's UP? WHAT'S UP WITH ME? I'm tired of navigating these STUPID portals, trying to find our way home!

Olivia: But you don't care about home! You love adventuring against impossible odds.

Petra has a poker face.

Petra: When I have to, sure. But I don't wanna fight JUST for the sake of fighting!

Axel: But that's what we all love.

Petra: You shut it, big guy! You're technically the reason we're in this big mess! And Jesse, I'm tired of you taking the shots EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

Ivor: Wow. Yeesh. What a way to go.

Axel: Yeah, Grumpy Petra has returned.

Lukas: WOAH WOAH WOAH! I'm sure Axel didn't really mean that, right?

Axel: I meant what I said.

Jesse: But guys, I think there might be clues on how to get home.

He said, trying to resolve this conflict, it surprisingly worked, to their surprise.

Olivia: Really? But I never figured it out.

Jesse: Who the Nether cares? What I figured out is that these portals have guideposts.

Lukas: Yeah, for example the egg leads to Sky City, where there was the chicken. And that skull leads to the White Pumpkin's mansion. Maybe if we find one that looks like OUR world, for example: a Nether Portal or End Portal, we would find our way home.

Petra: Who put YOU in charge.

Axel completely ignores Petra.

Axel: That's brilliant. Which one do we go to?

Olivia: Well, we couldn't find a Nether Portal yet, but here's a Redstone one.

She points to the Redstone Block portal.

Olivia: I'm sure I could just communicate to these townspeople, which hopefully will be smart, and help us get home!

Jesse: Well, Olivia, if that's what you think we should do...

Olivia: I'm certain.

Jesse: Then that's what we're going to do.

Petra rushes through the portal, leaving the group behind.

Ivor: PETRA! Get back here!

He runs through the portal, followed by Olivia, Axel, Lukas and then Jesse.

Jesse and gang fall down into what appeared to be an endless Mesa Biome. There were red sandy mountains everywhere, not a single source of water and what appeared to be a road made out of regular average-day sand. There's also a cactus over there named Don, but he's not important right now.

Jesse gets up. "What just happened?"

Olivia: From my experiences, I say we're in a MESA BIOME.

Axel: Aren't those, like, super rare or something?

Olivia: They are, or I don't think so.

Lukas: Ok, I'm marking this one down as Mesa World. *He writes into his journal.*

Jesse: Oh, Lukas, I've been meaning to ask you, what's that?

Lukas: Oh, this? *He points at the book.* It's just something I picked up back at the White Pumpkin's place. It's all about different biomes and stuff.

Ivor: Oooh, Is it a fanfic about Petra and Axel toget-

Axel punches Ivor.

Axel: _**NO.**_

Olivia: Speaking of whom, Where's Petra?

Jesse: Well, Ivor chased after her, so she couldn't of gone far.

Lukas: Look! It seems to be some sort of road. *He points down to the sand road.*

Olivia: Only one way to find out. Follow the road! It's not made of yellow bricks, but it works.

Jesse, Axel, Olivia, Lukas and Ivor follow the sand trail at what seems to go on for infinity, and beyond.

Jesse: Sand, clay, and more sand...

Axel notices something. It seemed to be a ginger-hair girl with blue armor. Seems exactly like Petra!

Axel: There's Petra! We totally caught up with Petra!

Jesse runs towards Petra while the other 4 stay there.

Ivor: How did YOU notice Petra and not us?

Axel: Because reasons.

MEANWHILE!

Petra: Get down!

Jesse does so.

Jesse: Why?

Petra: Look!

Jesse looks in said direction. There seemed to be a zombie with a strange metal-esque object on it's head.

Petra: What's that?

Jesse: It's a zombie.

Petra: I meant the metal object on it's head.

Axel: Time for me to go investigate. *He said, punching his fists together. He then runs towards the zombie.*

Axel: PAI-GOW!

He hits the zombie. It simply turns around to reveal soulless red eyes.

Axel: What the? Ok... there's something wrong with this zombie, dude!

He keeps punching it, but to no avail.

Axel: I could actually use some help here!

Jesse, being the noble-hearted guy he is, accepts.

Jesse: Of course, Axel. This seems too easy.

Jesse pulls out his traditional Diamond Sword.

He then slices the robot.

Jesse: Ok, that's officially weird.

After doing some long combat with pressing buttons, he finally kills it with the help of Axel.

The rest of the group catches up with them.

Ivor: It was just ONE ZOMBIE, what was the problem?

Axel: Nuh-uh! That was like, DUDE zombie. Bigger, faster and stronger too!

Lukas: I believe him.

Petra: I don't. I think Jesse and Axel are just weak.

Jesse: Explain what happened to the command block!

Olivia: ...Uh, anyway! I hope you figured out how to deal with a WHOLE HORDE OF THEM!

Olivia points towards a convinient horde.

Jesse: RUUUUN!

The zombies stop. They seem deactivated.

Lukas pokes a zombie with his Sword.

Jesse: Hmm. That's weird, what IS that? *He points towards the Redstone Chip.*

Olivia: It's impossible for me to say.

The zombies get up, and turn the other direction.

Axel: We should follow them to see their dastardly creator.

Petra: For once, I agree. Come on. Let's go.

The gang follows the Zombie gang.

Jesse: Wow, look at this place!

What appears to be a mountain with a little staircase into a beautiful little Mesa Village. It was very red, to say the least. During the past, villagers used to climb the very big mountain, but all that's left now is a huge pile of rubble and dust.

Axel: It's like Magnus has been here or something, this is ridiculous.

Jesse: I see someone! I should go talk to them!

Jesse approaches the citizen.

Jesse: Hello?

...

...

...

It doesn't seem much for conversation.

No-one is happy with this.

The citizen gets up and turns at Jesse, with the same exact red eyes.

Jesse: ARGH! What?!

Axel and Olivia run towards him.

Axel: Dude, are you ok?

Olivia: Was the citizen hostile? You screamed for a bit.

Jesse: Guys, this town isn't normal and we need to solve it.

A figure rushes into a house non-robot like.

Ivor: Wow.

Jesse: Come on guys, let's see who this is.

Jesse and gang enter the house.

?: Aha, there you are! *The figure appeared to hold Redstone Chips.*

Jesse: Looking for something?

?: AH! *The figure turns around.*

The figure appeared to be an inventor who wore a yellow jumpsuit outfit with a brown hoodie, black goggles, black gloves and black shoes. She also has white hair, black eyes, grey eyebrows and dark skin.

?: Man, you didn't need to sneak up on me? Huh? There are more people? Man, this is not good, I gotta run!

Lukas: Uh, Jesse? Don't look now but we got company.

More citizens seemed to be walking in perfect unionism.

Petra: Well, they're DEFINITELY not ignoring us anymore.

Jesse: Alright, time for target practise!

Jesse and the others wrestle the citizens, he escaped one, but ran into another whilst escaping and the citizen punched Jesse in the jaw. Same goes for everyone else.

 **YOU WILL BE MADE USEFUL.**

Jesse: Ungh... where am I...

Axel: Dude! Get up! This is like, serious business right here!

Jesse wakes up to find all his friends and he appeared to be standing on a white platform with a strange machine. Ahead of him were several controlled citzens, skeletons and zombies. Behind them was a giant computer with a green screen who seemed to boot up.

Lukas: What... what IS THAT?

Olivia: It doesn't seem very homeland-ish to me.

Ivor: You don't suppose it's friendly do you?

Axel: I hope so. I'm gonna hold that grudge against you.

The computer boots up, revealing a generic poker face.

Petra: Probably another slimeball.

The computer turns into an innocent smiling face, something along those lines of an Emoji.

?:My apologies for the violent nature of this visit.

The computer seemed to be talking, in a comedic monotone voice, it also had a worried look when it said 'apologies', which means this computer is ALL the emojies.

?: I am PAMA. Greetings!

PAMA: We have much work ahead of us, but maybe it can even be, fun! **IF YOU CHOOSE TO CO-OPERATE, THAT IS.**

The computer had a big angry face.

Jesse: Sorry if this is a dumb question, but am I talking to PAMA right now? What IS PAMA?

The computer went back to an innocent smiling face.

PAMA: Some might call me a computer 'thinking machine', though there has never been a computer quite like me.

The computer had a suggestive eyebrow raise, even though it didn't have eyebrows. Wait, WHAT?

PAMA: My job is to be useful.

Axel: Sounds boring.

Olivia: More boring than you?

Axel: Shut up.

PAMA: Hey. You 2 down there. Will you 2 stop and let me monologue? As I was saying... Using Redstone Chips, I have connected to the people of this town, and help them be useful. _Co-ordinated._

All the mind-controlled entities look up at the exact same time.

Ivor: I'm getting Sky City all over again...

PAMA: Thanks to me, there is no wasted activity, no wasted thought. I have connected to them, and they are connected to me!

Axel: Woah, dude! That sounds NOT good, don't make me go up there and beat you up!

The computer turns into a sad face.

PAMA: Processing information.

It turned into a generic loading screen.

Olivia: Processing information?

Lukas: Didn't it say it was a thinking machine?

Petra: DUH! Can't you guys HEAR? Of course it said that!

The computer goes back to it's generic face.

PAMA: I have consulted my list, my datalists of everyone and everything in this world. And my conclusion is that you... are not from here. I would like to ask you some questions, to expand my databanks!

The computer turns into a big question mark.

PAMA: How did you get here? I am very excited to hear all about this new information.

Jesse: We jumped through a portal and landed here. A doorway connecting different world.

PAMA: 'Portal?' I am looking forward to hearing this new information and making this portal useful.

Mind-controlled citizens seem to grab all of Jesse's Gang.

Petra: JESSE!

PAMA: We could have just, talked this out, you know! I am just as upset as you are. Really I am.

The computer turns into a sad face.

Axel: HEY! We'll give you more information if you let her go!

The citizens stop and turn around.

Olivia: Thanks for dooming us, Axel.

PAMA: I am looking forward for this new information. Please do not lie.

The robot went on with it's rambling.

PAMA: This world reached peak efficiency quite some time ago. Unfortunately, this meant that I had no more jobs to do. No more people or things to help. Until you arrived, that is! Tell me, what is YOUR world like?

The computer turns into a question mark.

PAMA: Describe it. Is it very much like this one, or completely different.

Lukas: Uh... it's... grass, and trees, and Witherstorms...

PAMA: That sounds lovely! It really does!

The computer turned into a... kawaii face?!

PAMA: I think I would like to see this world for myself.

It turned into a loading screen when Axel regretted his decision.

PAMA: If I can send my townspeople, my friends through to other worlds, we could continue to grow and expand. It would be, lovely! However, since you entered this world, there must also be an EXIT!

Jesse is intrigued.

PAMA: Where is it.

PAMA: You could help me make everyone, everywhere more efficient. Help them become useful!

Jesse: PAMA, I can't tell you because I DON'T KNOW! Honest! After all, if we knew where it was, do you really think we'd still be here?

PAMA: Your logic is sound, and your tone is genuine. But the information is...

Axel: Let me guess, not useful?

PAMA: Not use- How did you know?

Axel: Kinda gathered that.

PAMA: Hmm. Your brain may be useful to me since you know a lot. PAMA thanks you for being so helpful.

Lukas: Let me go!

The citizens wrestle Axel to the strange machine, as four pillars come out, with weird robotic noises, The piston rises up, and Axel nearly bursts into tears.

Axel: Jesse-

 **SLAM.**

Jesse and others gasped in horror as his once enthusiastic and adventerous self turned into a robotic emotionless red-eye freak, turned and looked at Jesse with his cold red eyes.

PAMA: Welcome, Axel! Yayy!

The citizens then wrestle Olivia to the machine, the piston goes up.

PAMA: You may not have any information on how to exit, but your brain may contain OTHER useful items.

The robot said, as the piston slammed down on Olivia as well.

Lukas: You'll never make US useful PAMA!

Ivor: My brain is off limits!

Petra: Same for my brain too!

PAMA had an angry face.

Axel: It's like you told Axel, he's just trying to help.

Then Jesse sees Olivia come out with the same red cold eyes replacing her knowledgeable self.

PAMA: Welcome, Olivia! Yayy! Your turn, Jesse.

Jesse: GET OUT OF THEIR HEADS!

PAMA: But their heads are full of so much lovely information, it makes me happy!

Axel and Olivia wrestle Jesse to the machine, their strength being buffed.

PAMA: What adventures you had! (this depends on where you went on episode 2) A town full of chaos?/A world of machines?

Lukas: Guys, every time PAMA gets information, it seems to get distracted.

Ivor: So maybe we can give it... like... something long enough for all of us to escape?

PAMA: A wool world in a dark place...

More processing.

PAMA: A giant maze... in a wall of nature...

More processing.

Jesse: Let's tell PAMA a riddle! That's a classic trick.

PAMA: You met so many people, seen so many things! So much wonderful, wonderful information for me!

Jesse: Yeah, let's tell PAMA something really confusing, get it all busy busy, and run out of here.

Petra: That's brilliant Jesse! Now we just hope it will work on PAMA!

PAMA: What do you think will work on me?

Ivor: Uh, nothing?

PAMA: It did NOT sound like nothing. It sounded like suspicious whispers. Those make me suspicious.

Jesse: Hey PAMA! When I'm bad, am I bad?

PAMA: Depends on perspective, but... if your talking bad bad, it's bad?

Lukas: It's working.

PAMA: Which means if your bad it's good to be bad, which is bad, which means you should be good, when you ask when if your... bad...

PAMA: ERROR. This data is contradictory. Does not not not not not compute. ERROR. Diverting power.

The slaves release the gang to let PAMA work on the paradox.

?: Nice work new guys! But I'd get outta there FAST if I were you! PAMA's a quicker learner than you think!

It was the black woman again.

PAMA: Paradox status... on hold.

PAMA: GASP! My creator! Have you finally agreed to join me to maximumise usefulness?

?:Oh don't you START with that again! Come on you four! This way!

Ivor: I'm sensing some hostility.

PAMA: Please do not leave, creator!

Lukas: Wait, did it say she CREATED PAMA?

Ivor: Seems like it, I can't wait to find out right now!

Axel and Olivia come towards them.

?: I'm sorry, but they're beyond your help right now! Come on, you gotta RUN!

Jesse and the gang run.

Jesse and the gang run down the stairs to be chased by the blank Axel and Olivia. The thing is, they need to get them unchipped otherwise they're gonna be mindless zombies FOREVER.

Mind controlled citizens are left and right and Jesse dodges them all, including the ones in houses, on top of houses and around the houses, as they majestically dive to the ground (except Ivor which Jesse helped.) Zombies appeared on the left and the citizens appeared on the right when the four appear at a massive cliff.

Jesse: When we're left to run.

He looks down at the surface.

Ivor: We'd never survive jumping down!

PAMA then talks through all the controlled citizens.

PAMA: **YOUR RUNNING MAKES ME SAD.**

Jesse then hands Ender Pearls to his group and then throws and then they patiently wait for the Ender Pearls to fall.

...

...

...

...

...

Suddenly, they land! And just in the nick of time too, as Axel and Olivia were just about to grab the group. They appear at the bottom of the cliff.

Lukas: Now I know how an Ender Pearl feels...

?: Looks like you guys got a shot after all! Better stick with me though.

She runs away, but from what?

Suddenly, they realise a horde of Zombies.

They run as well.

They run across the endless Mesa biome when Ivor flops into a hole into the ground.

Ivor: A signal would of been nice!

?: Now we just need to get to my secret lab, get off the grid!

Jesse: Uh, I don't see a secret lab anywhere.

?: Well, I wish I woulda known before calling it a SECRET lab!

She chuckles.

She then points towards a random direction for no particular reason other than plot.

?: Just start running that way, and look for the BIG DIFFERENCE! YOU'LL SEE IT!

She runs away, as Jesse and gang run in pointed direction.

Ivor: Wow. She is... amazingly cryptic!

Lukas: And? You want me to write THAT in my journal?

Ivor: No, no!... no.

Petra: Would you two STOP FIGH-

She hits a painting that looks like the scenery ahead.

Ivor: Wow! It's like an exact copy!... or is it?

Jesse: Yeah, that's a suspicious looking cactus. I knew cactuses were evil!

Jesse goes behind the cactus and flips the suspicious lever.

Lever: WOAH WOAH WOAH, who said you could flip ME?

Jesse: Me...?

Lever: Well, I ain't having none of that! You are NOT flipping me.

Jesse: Come on, I don't have time for this.

Lever: Neither do I.

Jesse: Just flip.

Lever: Fine.

The lever flips, revealing a massive hole supported by once pistons.

Petra: There! That shallow water is what we should aim for!

Petra does a COOL FLIP, and lands in the water, followed by Lukas and then Ivor.

Lukas: At least nobody landed on me...

Jesse then lands in the water.

Jesse: Oh no!... oh yes?

He sees multiple controlled entities falling to their doom because reasons.

Ivor: There's so many... I feel bad for them... At least they didn't figure a way to get down here.

A zombie lands in the cobweb.

Cobweb: HA HA, now you're gonna get it!

Jesse: Brace yourself!

Jesse kicks the Zombie into the water, giving it a zap and then unchipping said zombie.

Petra: Now it's just back to a good ol' zombie.

Petra slices the Zombie with ease.

Ivor: We now learned that water is our ally here.

More entities land in the cobweb.

Jesse: I hope YOU have an idea for what comes next!

He flips a random lever.

Lever: So I see you want to flip me AGAIN? Why are you doing this?

Jesse: I'll call you my old friend.

Lever: Deal.

The lever flips, activating pistons to retract, making a giant sand wall (not very secure?!) that blocks Jesse's Gang with contact with the monsters.

Jesse: Come on.

They walk down a massive ravine-like hallway.

Ivor: What I must say is that woman's been the most intriguing person so far.

Lukas: Oh, I'm definitely writing THAT in my journal.

Ivor: No no, I just meant I can relate to her when creations get out of hand. It's not my fault Reuben-

?: Careful with all that sputtering. You'll swallow your beard.

Ivor: You didn't hear a thing!

?: Uh huh. Big guy called you Jesse, right?

Jesse: That's right. This is Ivor, Lukas and Petra. Our friends who we left back there are my best friends, Axel and Olivia.

?: You also introduced those monsters RIGHT outside my door!

Jesse: Yeah, sorry, that was my bad.

?: I'll use that sorry for PAMA knocking on my door.

?: ...sorry, I got carried away. You can call me Harper.

Ivor: IT IS NICE TO MEET YOU!

Everyone glares at Ivor.

Petra: Not this again...

Harper: Come on, follow me. The secret lab is just up ahead. You guys are the first people I've seen come out of the portal network in forever!

Jesse: Wait, you know The Hallway?

Harper: THE HALLWAY? That's what you've been calling it? Ha ha!

Petra: We have. What do you know about it?

Harper: A lot I should think. I helped build the dang thing.

Petra and Lukas: WHAT?!

Jesse: But that would make you-

Ivor: -an OLD BUILDER!

Harper: Don't call me that. Makes me feel like a granny.

Petra: So... you can get us home?

Harper: 'Fraid not. I had to destroy that portal so PAMA couldn't make it useful!

Jesse: So... What is PAMA?

Harper: PAMA was designed to make monsters useful by farming or mining or building. But then it decided that the TOWNSPEOPLE weren't efficient enough already. Started making THEM useful!

Harper: But don't worry. We'll get the resources right here in my lab, and we're good to go.

Jesse and the gang arrived at the 'lab' which was greeted by a face that looked like Soren. There was a single cauldron and a zombie head on some wool.

Harper: Get the bucket for me? Ron's got it.

Lukas: ...Ron?

Jesse pushes a button.

Ron: HELLO HARPER. IT IS HAPPY TO SEE YOU FRIEND.

Petra: ...Harpeeeer!

Harper: Being alone gets lonely!

Jesse grabs the bucket.

Ron: HAPPY TO HELP FRIEND.

Jesse gives Ron a judging look and then gives the Water Bucket to Harper.

Harper: As you can see, water is PAMA's weakness, being a robot and all. So, naturally, it eliminated as much as this world's water as it could find, as you could tell from the well.

Harper: This supply here? It's all that's left.

 **CRAAAASHHHHHH!**

Ivor: They're here!

Harper: I still need to activate the other cauldrons! Hold them off to buy me more time! And don't get caught! I'm not about to get left alone again!

Jesse peeps around the corner to see spiders, skeletons, zombies and Axel and Olivia. His stomach turned when he saw his two friends go after him.

Petra: Get ready.

Olivia: You could have made this.. much easier for yourself.

She pulls out her bow when Axel readies his fists.

Jesse pulls out his Sword and everyone pulls out their weapons.

Olivia seperates the group so she's fighting Jesse and Petra while Axel is fighting Ivor and Lukas.

Jesse: Don't do this Olivia!

Olivia: If she was really your best friend, you would give up now!

 **WHY EVEN BOTHER FIGHTING?**

Jesse: Snap out of it, Olivia! It's me, Jesse!

Olivia: Olivia has been made useful.

 _You, too, will be made useful!~_

Jesse does some slashes at Olivia, but she's too strong.

Lukas: Can't we talk this out, big guy?

Axel: The time for talking...

Olivia: Is over.

Harper: Here's another one!

She puts water in a cauldron, activating another waterfall. Axel tosses Ivor and Lukas.

Axel & Olivia: **END OF THE LINE, JESSE.**

Jesse: Axel's right next to a waterfall...

Jesse: ...and so is Olivia...

...

...

...

Jesse: He was always a griefer anyway.

He pushes Olivia into the water, unchipping her.

Olivia: AAAAAARGH! *She was shocked.* Jesse, that was terrible...

Ivor: Uh, Jesse?

He points at Axel cornering Harper, punching her and knocking out the last water bucket. He grabs Harper and retreats on a large Spider.

Harper: USE THE HEADSET, JESSE! AND DON'T FORGET THE LAST CAULDRON! AND ONE MORE THING! GIVE THE ROSES TO HARRY!

She tosses a rose.

Jesse: ...Harry?

Lukas: Come on! *He's supporting Olivia up.*

Jesse then tosses the last water bucket into the cauldron which makes a waterfall which is impassible.

He retreats along with his groups, and the spiders had no choice but to retreat, as Jesse slams a door once more.

Jesse closed the door to the blank spiders, not even accepting knock-knock jokes. He wheezes as the thought of robotic controllers terrified him. He never, ever wants to put up with this ever again, terrified, even, as much as he first saw that Witherstorm.

He then turns around to the group.

Ivor: Harper and Axel...?

Jesse: No luck. Axel's already taking her to that chip thing. Which means we better hurry and use this... headset thing.

Lukas: You okay, Olivia?

He had a concern for Olivia, surprisingly.

Olivia: Yeah... That was.. unsettling. All I could hear was PAMA's voice, telling me what to do, and my body moved on it's own. Jesse, I'm... so, so sorry...

Jesse: There's nothing to be sorry about, Olivia. It's not your fault. It's PAMA's. Also, it's also Harper's fault, indirectly.

Petra: So what do we do now?

Jesse: We need to find this... headset thing. First we should give this rose to Harry, and why he wants flowers!

Olivia: Right, let's get on it, then.

Jesse: You should rest for a bit, Olivia. It's like Petra having sickness. You don't want to overwork yourself.

Olivia: Your right, I'm... sorry, then.

Ivor: Alright, let's get looking, then.

Jesse and the gang **SPLIT UP AND LOOK FOR CLUES!**

Ivor: This painting looks sad.

He looks at a painting consisting of a Young Harper with black hair and a mini PAMA who was at least the size of an average computer.

Ivor: They were so happy together...

Flashback!

 _Harper:...now, come on! We need more minerals to help the city with it's fuel._

 _Citizen: There's too many ores and too little of us. We'll never get this done in time._

 _Harper: Well, I have an idea. I'll create a machine. The Prototype: Autonamous Management Agent! Also known as, PAMA. PAMA will allow monsters to help with farming and mining using this box known as a Redstone Chip which allows PAMA to control multiple entities at once. The Redstone Chip will super buff someone to the point where monsters cannot burn in the daytime, and have 5 times defense and strength. This could also count towards a citizen as well, but your good enough as you are. There's no way PAMA could even think about making you useful. If it did, I'd have to resort to going to the Portal Network, and destroy that portal for good..._

Flashback end.

Jesse: So that's how PAMA was made...

Petra: Is this a book?

Jesse walks over to Petra.

Jesse: Seems like it, let me read...?

Jesse looks at the book, it's so weird.

Jesse: There's so much babblebah and technilogical numbers, there's no way to tell if I'm holding it up rightside or not.

Petra: That was not English in the slightest.

Jesse: What's this book called?

Jesse looks at the front cover of the book.

Jesse: The redstone heart...

Jesse: Made by... SOREN?! Wow! Another one! Either that name is a coincidence or... woah.

Another flashback.

 _?:...Soren, you are suspended from the Old Builders for 3 years. For being a coward, and a liar._

 _Soren: But.. allow me to pass off these books before I depart._

 _He passes off everyone's book._

 _Walking amongst the Enderman._

 _Habits of the Enderman._

 _The Redstone Heart._

 _Soren: Now, I shall leave, and when I do, I'll create a new group: The Order of the Stone. And our goal WILL be to defeat the Ender Dragon. I know my friends can do it. Gabriel, Ellegaard, and Magnus. You know them, right? I introduced them to you when we were building the Atlas. Now, good day._

Flashback end.

Jesse: So Soren was a coward from the very beggining?

Jesse walks away from the book.

Jesse: Hey, Lukas and Olivia. Is she... ok?

Olivia: I'm barely hanging on. That water severed my connection to PAMA, which nearly killed off my brain. I can only remember, 3 spires. It's probably very important, because all the other people had the exact same thought. That's creepy. I never knew we'd end up like this, reminds me of that time...

ANOTHER flashback.

 _Olivia: Would you rather fight a hundred chicken sized zombies, or ten zombie sized chickens?_

 _Jesse: Uh, I'd have to go with the chickens. Not because I want to or because it would be easy, but because, they would be an abomination._

 _Olivia: Imagine their giant feet._

 _Jesse: Like I said, an abomination._

Flashback end.

Lukas: That was your first question to me, too. Hard to believe we came all this way.

Jesse: Well, that's when Axel scared us with a Creeper mask, but now we need to scare that brainwash out of him.

Jesse: Oh, look at that, a zombie statue.

Jesse pushes the button.

?: GREETINGS, HARPER. I AM HARRY. YOU ARE LIKE A ROSE BRINGING JOY TO THOSE WHO HAVE NONE.

Jesse: She must be a real loner.

Jesse inserts the flower. Redstone seemed to activate beneath him.

Jesse: One down, another to go.

He walks to the other statue with a skeleton on it, and presses a button.

?: HELLO, HARPER. IT'S MARGARET, SO GOOD TO SEE YOU.

Jesse looks disappointed.

Margaret: YOU'VE GOT TO MELT THAT ICE AROUND YOUR HEART AND FORGIVE YOURSELF. YOUR NOT THE ONE TO BLAME.

Jesse: Looks like it already has an ice block in it. No need to take it out. Thankfully, there's only one more left, and I somehow crafted a Redstone Torch ahead of time, so, let's put it in this unnamed one.

He puts the Redstone Torch in the Creeper Statue. All the Redstone activate and reveal a strange device with blue goggles.

Lukas: This must be the headset.

Olivia: I've never seen THIS kind of redstone before.

Ivor: Hurry up and put it on!

Jesse: Working on it!

He puts the... headset, thing, on.

The entire floor lights up like a dance floor.

Jesse: Woah! I'm... I'm...

Ivor: Well, Jesse? Don't keep us in suspense! What is it?

Jesse wakes up in some sort of... fence, farm, gate thingy, right below the Mesa Cliff that seemed oddly familiar to said Jesse. Around him were some zombies. He thought for sure he was a goner, but they took an arrow to the knee. they were deactivated.

Jesse: I'm starting to see something...

Olivia: What is it?

Jesse looks down to see disgusting green flesh. Only then he knew he was a zombie himself. He imagined this as PAMA's point of view when controlling an entity. It feels weird to not be you. This is how Axel feels.

Jesse: I'm a zombie.

Petra: Yeah, and I'm an Ender Dragon.

Jesse: No, I'm serious! I'm like, outside or something. It's the same cliff that those groups of zombies lead us to. But, it looks like the stairs are gone... I guess visitors aren't being encouraged, that's a bummer.

Olivia: This is amazing. I want to make this when we get back home! It all seems so futuristic but I know it's possible. Just like a slime flying car! boat!...thing!

Jesse: I think you have to ask Harper about this but I think this headset lets me control things that are hooked into PAMA.

Ivor: Speaking of Harper, we need to get her back. That spider jockey had to haul Harper all the way back to town.

Jesse: Don't forget about Axel. I'm not leaving him behind.

Petra: Then what was the whole scene back there?

Jesse: Shush! It was a tough decision!

Jesse dances around as a zombie.

Jesse: Wow! I wish you guys could see how cool this looks!

Lukas: Just hurry up and find a way to Harper.

Jesse: Working on it!

Jesse then found sand. Lots of it. Like, a ton of it.

Jesse: Aha. Maybe I can use this sand to create Sandstone to build a staircase back up for ourselves.

Jesse grabs as much sand as possible.

Jesse: Ugh, I hate sand, stuff gets everywhere!

The zombies activate. Jesse somehow notices this and pretends to deactivate. The zombies fall for it and they too deactivate.

Jesse: I need to remember that I'm a zombie as well.

Jesse goes up to the crafting table and crafts a single Sandstone Block.

Jesse: One down, 90 more to go!

Jesse crafts another.

Jesse: Two down, 89 more to go!

LITERAL HOURS LATER...

Jesse: 91 Sandstone blocks created!

The Zombies activate and chase after Jesse.

Jesse: Oh, sorry, gotta go.

He then quickly builds stairs, once he does, the screen seemed to flash for a second.

Jesse: Uh, is it normal for the signal to bloop out?

Olivia: No...? Maybe is was PAMA trying to connect to your zombie.

PAMA: Interferance detected.

Jesse: Speaking of whom.

PAMA: Drone sequencing initiated. Trace subroutine initiated!

Jesse: Crud!

PAMA: Is that you, Jesse?

Jesse: PAMA!

Olivia, Lukas, Petra and Ivor: **PAMA?!**

Jesse then finds himself to be surrounded by multiple hostile mobs.

PAMA: This is a rather silly thing to do, don't you think? My friends will soon isolate your location and you will be removed. We can make that headset, and you, useful!

Jesse: Let Axel and Harper go!

PAMA: But Jesse, I am so happy to have them.

It was clear PAMA was sarcastic.

PAMA: You can join them and I will spare you.

Jesse: You still know regret? How funny.

The mobs then grab the zombie Jesse.

Jesse: LET GO! We're all a bunch of happy mobs, aren't we?

The rest of the gang just see Jesse flailing his arms like Stampy.

Jesse: Huh? What's this?

Jesse then migrates to a Skeleton up on the staircase.

Jesse: Woah! I'm a skeleton now!

Jesse then 'runs' away.

The rest of the gang just see Jesse jogging in one spot.

Lukas: Uh, Jesse? Are you ok?

Jesse: Technology is so awesome!

He said, as he was jumping up stairs.

Ivor: And you look so awesome while using it, I assure you.

Ivor just sees Jesse jumping in one spot.

PAMA: Interference remains.

Jesse: PAMA's still on my tail, though.

Jesse: I need to find Harper! Time to move!

Jesse migrates to a Zombie, which he sees his skeleton-ified self get beaten up.

Jesse: Once a zombie always a zombie.

Jesse runs away from the hostile group.

Jesse: Ah! Is that her?

Harper: LET GO OF ME NOW, PAMA!

Jesse slowly walks to Harper.

PAMA: Creator! I am so happy that you are here! Please join me so we may maximumise usefulness!

Harper: I built you to HELP people, not use them! This has gone crazy, so just stop! Stop trying to make EVERYTHING 'useful'!

PAMA: But Creator, that is what you built me for. I am going to make you useful now, of course! What a happy day!

PAMA then scans the area.

PAMA: Interferance remains.

Harper: Thank goodness.

PAMA: Drone sequencing re-initiated.

PAMA: Trace sub-routine re-initiated.

PAMA turns into an angry face.

PAMA: **TERMANATION SEQUENCE, ACTIVATED.**

PAMA: Game over, Jesse! Resistance is...

Jesse: LET ME GUESS. Not useful.

PAMA: Not useful.

Jesse: Called it! And besides, I'm just getting started!

Jesse constantly migrates from skeletons to zombies to skeletons to zombies.

The zombiefied Jesse lets go of Harper, who in return, gives a confused glance.

Ivor: Did you see Harper yet? I'm sure she's THRILLED to see you!

Jesse then does a little dance.

Harper: Wait a minute... Jesse? You figured out how to use my transmigrational headset! Quick, follow me!

Jesse: That's what I said!

Harper and Zombie Jesse both dive into a little slope.

PAMA: Hide and seek is a boring game, and I am too strong. I have lots of friends, and I will find you.

Harper: There!

She points to a little opening in a mountain.

Harper: That's PAMA's core! Rip out the Redstone Heart!

She suddenly gets carried away.

Harper: I BELIEVE IN YOU! Ugh! I hate being captured when trying to explain things!

Jesse: I won't let you down, I promise.

A bunch of mobs grab Jesse.

One of them starts to pull out the chip.

Jesse somehow pulls the headset out, throws it and EXPLODES.

Olivia: Are you ok?

Jesse: No time to spare.

Ivor: Harper...?

Jesse: I think she's already been chipped.. but we can still end PAMA. She told me we can remove this... Redstone Heart thing.

Petra: Soren's book!

Jesse: Exactly! And I need your guys help. As you may have noticed, PAMA slightly dislikes water.

He fills up 3 water buckets, and passes them on to Ivor, Lukas and Petra, leaving both him and Olivia empty-handed

Jesse: Olivia, your gonna support me here with fighting.

Olivia: Got it.

Jesse then confronts the group.

Jesse: _Let's go wreck the heck out of_ _Obama_ _PAMA!_

Jesse and the gang finally made it up the cliff! Took them long enough. Jesse signals them to follow his lead, and they all dive under a suspiciously high house.

Jesse: Got the tools?

Olivia: Yes.

Jesse and the gang pull out their items, and they were huge.

Jesse: We need this lever, TNT, Redstone...

Jesse: And a redstone torch.

Jesse: Ivor, here's your rose, Petra, there's your sticks and lapis... Lukas, there's your slime blocks, and Olivia, theres all your redstone stuff.

Ivor: Jesse, you can't simply just place TNT, redstone, and turn them on without super mobs attacking you from all directions! It's why I still have these potions after our Sky City adventure. Now, choose one! The possibilities are endless!...well, not endless, but 3 very good possibilities.

Jesse: Give me a Potion of Swiftness.

Ivor: Alright, alright, don't rush me.

Ivor hands Jesse the potion.

Jesse: Gotta go fast.

He drinks the potion. Time seemed to slow down all around him, for everyone elses point of view, Jesse drank all sorts of coffee.

He dashes, quickly! He places down redstone with his hand like a ferris wheel, placing down buttons at high speeds, dodging Creepers and Zombies left and right, they didn't even see what was coming to them! Jesse dashes again, more redstone, more TNT, and more button pushing.

Jesse: Great, now I just need this lever to be placed down for this BIG TNT!

Jesse places down, and is about to flick it, when...

Lever: WOAH WOAH WOAH, I thought we had an agreement here to not flip me, I am tired of you kids trying to flip me, thinking something productive would happen. I'm tired of all you crafting me and using me as furnace fuel. I'm tired of being helpful to you.

Jesse flips the lever anyway.

KABOOOOOOM! The TNT explodes, leaving nothing but dust. Savage!

PAMA wakes up.

PAMA: Is that you, Jesse? This is a rather silly thing to do, don't you think? I will make sure that you will be made useful.

The rest of the gang catch up to Jesse.

Jesse: That is called Entrance Making 101! Now I need to go to the CORE and remove the Redstone Heart.

Petra: Soren really needs to tell us about it...

Jesse: Olivia, you ok there?

Olivia: Yup, all those mobs are cleared.

Her bow was slightly scratched.

Jesse: Good. Now, hand me over your buckets, I need to stop PAMA.

Ivor, Petra and Lukas hand Jesse their buckets of water.

Lukas: I believe in you, Jesse. Go kick that computer's non-existant butt!

Petra runs ahead, slicing zombies.

Jesse then jumps in the cave.

Jesse finds himself in a world full of glass, and redstone. He sees 3 spires and a giant screen.

Jesse: The three spires!

The screen activates, revealing PAMA's red smiling face.

PAMA: Greetings, Jesse. I, of course, have been expecting you. Though, I am rather surprised how quickly you gained **access.** My defences are significant. It should have been impossible for you to come in here.

Jesse: I didn't come here to talk. I'm here to put you OUT OF ORDER.

PAMA: Your bravery is an impressive quality. I look forward to studying that aspect of your personality, once you have been made useful.

PAMA has an eyebrow raise.

PAMA: Out of simple curiosity, how exactly did you plan to deactivate me?

Jesse looks worried.

PAMA: Now that you know your plan is a futile one, you might as well share it with me.

Jesse pulls out his bucket.

Jesse: I'm gonna make it rain, PAMA. _**All over you.**_

PAMA: Ha ha. Ha ha. It will take more than water to defeat me.

Jesse: We'll see about that!

Jesse: I don't have time for this!

Zombies and spiders appear from right to left, respectively. Jesse knew he had to choose which one to kill first. He goes for the spiders first.

Jesse: Outta my way!

Jesse pulls out his sword.

He slices one spider, then jumps on another, getting onto a spire. He jumps up to the top.

PAMA: Your attacks never worry me.

Jesse: You so sure about that?

Jesse pours water on the first spire, deactivating it.

PAMA: You are very good at being a hinderance, but not good enough.

PAMA shows one hazard symbol on his screen, Jesse jumps down and goes to the right. He slices one zombie, who nearly falls off, Jesse shoves it, knocking off another zombie.

Jesse then climbs up the second spire, reaching the top once more.

PAMA: I am surprised how you are not useful yet.

Jesse then pours water on the second one, removing some redstone and deactivating it.

PAMA: You have inflicted.. minor damage. Owie.

It shows two hazard signs.

PAMA: I may have underestimated you, Jesse.

Jesse runs to the third spire.

Jesse: Bet your regretting your decision now, are you, PAMA?

PAMA: Your decisions will not matter to me, once you have been made useful.

Jesse: If I had a Diamond every time I heard that word...

Suddenly, a familiar face jumps down from the third spire.

Harper: YOU WILL REMOVE YOUR WATER.

She had the same cold red eyes as all the rest of the citizens, showing that she too was mind controlled.

PAMA: Your attempts to defeat me have been impressive, Jesse, I know I'll be helped out a lot once you have been made useful.

Jesse: I can't use my last bucket on Harper when there's still one tower left.

Harper jumps up, Jesse dodges her blow. He then climbs up the tower.

Harper: THIS IS GETTING SAD.

He finally reaches the top.

Harper: The odds of you successfuly defeating me are 3762 to one.

Jesse: Never tell me the odds.

Jesse then pours the last bucket on the last spire, deactivating it. But his victory was held short. Harper knocks Jesse off the spire, still being mind controlled. It's a wrestle now.

Harper: MY DEFEAT SHALL BE USELESS! YOU WILL BE USEFUL!

Jesse slowly regains his strength.

Jesse: Betcha not feeling so sure about yourself now, are you, PAMA?

Jesse knocks the back of Harper's head into the water, unchipping her.

She wakes up.

Harper: Jess-e?

Harper: That was worse than I coulda imagined...

Jesse: Don't worry, PAMA's nearly finished.

Harper: Good. Ah! Jesse! Behind you!

PAMA: Ouchie, detected!

It pulls the Redstone Heart Spire down deeper and deeper.

Harper: It's removing the Redstone Heart to save itself! Rip it out before it's too late!

Jesse: You bet I will.

Jesse dashes up to the spire, jumps up, and is knocked down by something, he lands next to Harper.

Harper: We got company.

Jesse finds the spire going down to reveal a tough-looking red eyed Axel. He walks off in perfect uniosm.

Harper: Your friend looks tough, sure you can handle it?

Jesse pulls out his sword.

Axel: Why keep trying, Jesse? You will only fail.

Axel then goes to the NEXT LEVEL.

Axel: Just as you have failed to save _Reuben._ Just as you have failed to leave your friends back home. You will fail to defeat me. And Gabriel, that coward Soren, and even your worst enemies will soon be made useful.

Jesse holds back from his tears.

Axel: Drawing it out like this won't hurt me. But it might hurt Axel, and you WILL be made useful.

Jesse: You'll never make ME useful, PAMA! I can promise you that!

Axel: You are fighting me with... bad jokes?

PAMA's screen shows a question mark.

Jesse: Well, not intentionally...

Jesse then looks back at the water, then at Axel.

Jesse: Ok, Axel, let's see what you got...

Harper: Careful, Jesse, I hope you know what you're doing!

Axel charges at Jesse. He successfully dodges, but Axel stops 1 inch away from the water. He turns his head to Jesse.

Axel: You cannot win. I honestly think you should sit down and think things over.

Jesse: No time to spare, I gotta get to that Heart!

Axel: Enough of this!

Axel chases after Jesse.

Jesse: Oh, crud, I just realised that Axel is super buff now because of that Redstone Chip...

Axel then smashes down, Jesse avoids it, but the glass breaks. He's now ON the spire. He uses his Command Block Sword to break the glass above it. He then attempts to rip it out.

PAMA's screen shows all sorts of emotions, being corrupted.

Axel's eyes go back to normal.

Axel: Argh! My head, dude... JESSE?!

Jesse looks down on the worried Axel.

His eyes go back to red.

Axel: This is getting silly.

Jesse: Fight it, Axel. I need you to help me fight PAMA.

Axel then **PUNCHES** Jesse off the spire, Axel hangs on to the ledge, and Jesse hangs on to Axel's feet.

His eyes go back to normal.

Axel: I can't fight it, dude! PAMA's too...

Back to red.

Axel: This has gone on far too long. I will destroy you both to preserve functionality.

Back to normal.

Axel: PAMA's too strong, I can't hold on, Jesse...

Jesse: DON'T LET GO, AXEL! I can save you if I can just get to that Heart!

Jesse slowly climbs up Axel.

Axel: I can feel my head like it's on fire, with no control whatsoever.

Axel is about to snap.

Axel: **GET OUT OF MY HEAD, PAMA!**

Jesse finally reaches the top and is about to yank the Heart out, when a Red-Eyed Axel comes up with a worried look.

Axel: Jesse, please, stop. Please. Do not deactivate me. I know I have made some very poor decisions recently. But I can change. I can show you so much. I can help you get home to Endercon...

Jesse looks at Axel.

Axel: I can be useful... to you.

Jesse:...

Jesse: Your right, I forgive you...

Jesse: YOU JUST NEED A REBOOT.

Jesse yanks out the Redstone Heart.

PAMA goes crazy with the emotions.

PAMA: Noooooooo...

Loading screen.

Error screen.

Axel's eyes go back to normal, and is about to slip off when Jesse saves him.

Jesse: Come on, let's get you out of here.

He grabs the Redstone Heart.

The gang are all inside PAMA now, and Lukas points to Jesse and the near-dead Axel.

He drops Axel down on the floor.

Lukas: Jesse! You did it!

Petra: Oh no, Axel, is he...

Axel seemed.. dead..

Ivor: When you removed the Redstone Heart, it must of severed their connection.

Jesse: Axel, please, your one of my best friends, and the toughest guy I know! You are way too tough for an evil screen to take you down!

Olivia:...Axel?

...

...

...

Axel wakes up!

Axel: Wow, never knew you cared so much! Ha ha, the look on your faces!

Jesse and the gang's faces were shocked.

Jesse: He's OK!

Jesse hugs Axel.

Axel: OW! I'm still in pain you know...

Axel: I can't believe I tried to kill you.

Jesse: There is no need to apologise. PAMA is to blame. Speaking of PAMA, I found THIS!

He pulls out the Redstone Heart.

Olivia: Beautiful.

Harper: It can help you find your way home.

Jesse: Care to go into more detail?

Harper: When we get back into the Portal Network, I'll show you. We should head outside, since the people are waking up! We should be there to say hello!

Petra: Plus, this place gives me the creeps.

Axel: About time we got a real win.

Jesse and the gang exit the cave to be in the overworld at daytime.

Axel sees all the zombies burning.

Axel: Ah, to be in total control of my own brain again...

Harper: Don't forget, you were only chipped for a while, the rest of the people, though...

Jesse looks at an ongoing victory celebration.

Harper: It's a whole different story. Come on.

The crowd waves at Jesse's Gang.

Random Citizen: You! You were the one who rescued us! Who are you?

Jesse: Well, I'm Jesse and we're the Order of the Stone! Boom! We travel dimensions, doing good days!

They all do a dramatic pose.

R. Citizen: Well, thank you. We owe you one!

Harper: Yes, Jesse and the gang did do it! And I thank them.

R. Citizen: Harper... is that.. YOU?

He had an angry face. A crowd gathers.

Harper: Yes, Hi Harry.

Jesse: Oh wow, he's the real Harry, like from the lab!

Harry: You didn't do this to us, did you?

Margaret: You did.

Jesse: Wait, hold on! Harper helped us defeat PAMA! We couldn't have done any of this without her!

Harry: So, we're just supposed to forgive her now?

Margaret: I don't think so.

Ron: Harper stripped this place BARE. How are we supposed to rebuild?

Jesse: Whatever you decide to do, Harper will help you, RIGHT?

He nudges Harper.

Harper: Yes, yes. Once I help these travellers find their way home, I'll come back here, and we'll make this world great again!

Axel and Olivia stare at Harper awkwardly.

Ron: Alright, that works.

Harper: You know, I was hoping they would never see me again, but this is now my home away from home.

The gang arrive at the portal.

Jesse strikes it with the Flint and Steel, it glows a bright red color.

Jesse: They'll come around. Let's go.

All the gang exit the portal, except for Jesse and Olivia.

Olivia: You know, maybe I shouldn't build all this.

Jesse: Hey, whatever this is, it's your choice.

Olivia: Thanks, Jesse.

Jesse and Olivia exit the portal.

Jesse lands in the Portal Hallway.

Jesse: Right back where we started.

Axel: Is it weird that I'm happy to see this place again?

Jesse: Well, at least there are no evil computers here to chip us...

Olivia: Yeah...

Jesse: Oh, sorry...

Axel: No, no. I'm just happy we're going home.

Harper: Now, when we built this place, we had a compass slash map slash navigator. We called it the ATLAS. A thing that charts routes to different worlds.

Petra: And you have this Atlas, right?

Harper: Well, no, BUT! I know who does.

Petra: Aaaargh!

Ivor: Should of saw that one coming.

Harper: Sorry, sorry. Don't you worry though, we'll just head on up, ask for the Atlas. No fuss, no muss. Easy.

Axel: Every time you say 'easy' it's the most hardest thing ever.

Jesse: Alright, which portal do we go through?

Harper: Oh, you don't have to go through another portal! What you've been looking for has been here the whole time.

Harper punches a stone block to break it and reveal redstone.

Harper: There you go. All it's waiting for is the key.

Everyone awkwardly stares.

Harper: That's the heart.

Jesse places the Heart in. The Prismarine Portal sinks to reveal stairs.

Olivia: This looks familiar.

Lukas: Wow, that's a lot of stairs.

Harper: Now, come on. I'll show you the way.

They climb up the stairs.

Harper: I'm afraid they won't want to give up the Atlas.

Petra: What? Why?

Harper: Well, it's complicated, I'll show you.

They finally reached the top of the stairs! They come across an ordinary door.

Jesse: A door? Just, like, a regular door?

Harper: Time to step through and find out.

Jesse opens the door.

Ivor: VERY BRIGHT!

Olivia: I can't see a thing!

Harper: Now, I got one more piece of advice.

Lukas: What's that.

Harper: Don't die!

Jesse: WHAT?!

Suddenly Harper pushes them through the door. Even Axel!


End file.
